How can I be a good husband to my wife? (Not that I am a complete disaster of a husband at the moment.)
When I am with her I should listen to her, look at her. When I speak I should use her name as well as endearments.
When I am up first in the morning, I should think of her and prepare for her presence. When I am returning from work at night, I should think of her and prepare to meet her.
Every night I should pray about her. Having someone to pray about has been a good reminder to pray. I like the idea of thinking about my wife with my “prayer mind” as I fall asleep.
I should remember that she loves me, she loves me, she loves particular things about me. I should remember that she looks to me for support and love. I should take pleasure in giving her love and support.
Jesus is inside her and when she speaks to me, Jesus speaks to me. Loving and supporting my wife is loving and supporting Jesus.
I am a body. My wife is a body. We make a body together. I want to strengthen all of those bodies, so they can be vibrant and flourish.
I lust for my wife. I enjoy her, and she enjoys my attention (or she used to, …). I should train my lust on my wife. I should find good ways to show her my desire for her. I should give her all the love and support and comfort and space she wants. My lust is to find her desire, to fan her desire, and to become her desire.
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messymarriage
/ 2017-06-09I love your desire to look at your wife as if loving her is an opportunity to love and minister to Jesus, David! That’s what I encourage my clients who are struggling in their marriages to do. I will pray that the passion in your marriage grows and is fully satisfying once intimacy resumes. And I will also pray that you are filled up with encouragement and self-restraint as you wait on that right moment to resume indulging in those delights in your marriage.
David
/ 2017-06-09Dear Beth, Thank you very much. I’ll be praying over this a lot, I’ll be taking strength and calm from the Lord God, and I’ll be taking it steady. David
soulcarecafe
/ 2017-06-10Thanks for your words that nudge me to be more selfless, David!
David
/ 2017-06-10Dear Gary, Hello, welcome, and thank you for your comment! I didn’t know you had a blog: I’ll start reading.
Lisa notes...
/ 2017-06-10These are indeed wonderful ways to be a good husband. We would all do well to follow these words in our own marriages as best as we can.
David
/ 2017-06-10Dear Lisa, Thank you very much for your comment. I’m wary of pushing too hard or trying to be someone I’m not, but this feels like being myself.