New goals

This might be premature, but I feel as if I am in a new phase of my journey. I seem to have broken the bad habits that triggered this persona and this blog in 2013. At least, I feel ready to aim at some new goals, and to orient this persona and this blog around them.

I have three largish goals I’d like to aim for. They are more like states of affairs than events.

  1. Be a good husband (and father)
  2. “Come out” as Christian
  3. Have sex with my wife

The first has to be achieved before the other two I think.

I’d like to achieve the first goal this year, and then aim to achieve the other two in 2018.

By being a good husband I mean being a source of stability and strength for my wife. Also a source of good vibes and happiness of course, and a source of feelings of calm and safety. I want to establish that before demanding special treatment or “recognition” (2) or special favours (3).

I don’t quite know what I mean by “coming out” as a Christian. It might mean “declaring myself” to my wife. It probably does mean going to a church semi-regularly, and meeting other Christians In Real Life.

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  1. Praying for you to reach your goals, David. God bless you!

    • Dear Lisa, thank you for your kind comment – and your prayers! I want to start writing here on these themes too – so that should reduce the blog’s yuk factor a bit.

  2. I don’t know if you’ve got a new commenting system where you approve of comments before they are posted, but I’ve tried to post a comment for two days in a row and it hasn’t let me. So I’m going to try and post this to see if it will work, David. ;)

    • I haven’t changed anything, but your two comments were blocked by the spam filter. Can’t explain why. I’ll see if I can mark your ID to make sure your comments are always approved.

  3. Hmmm, that one worked. Let me try posting the one that has been working.

    You’ve got my prayers on all three fronts, David! I’ve added them to my daily prayer list for you. I’m so glad you’re feeling as if you’re integrating your faith into your life and view of yourself. That’s so encouraging to hear.

    Btw, I’m working on responding to your email, though it’s taking me a bit of time. I want to answer as clearly and thoroughly as I can.

    Also, I don’t quite know why you are waiting to have sex with your wife. Is this something that has come to a halt in your marriage? This worries me a bit for you. Maybe it’s become the status quo in your marriage, so it feels more comfortable for both of you to stay apart than to initiate something quickly. If this has become the state of your marriage, then I can see why you’ve struggled so much with temptation. Hmmm. Just another mysterious detail about your life, I suppose! I hope I’m not intruding where I’m not welcome. It’s just that I’m sort of an intrusive type–counselor and all! ha! Thanks for sharing your mind and heart here!

    • Thanks for your comment(s) – and thank you for persisting! Re the sex thing, it’s more or less as you describe. After posting this I did think, “How can I achieve #1 if I’m not achieving #3?” and the post does look a little like I’m kicking the issue into the long grass. I shall be writing more on this (in general terms where it touches on my wife) as part of working out what is between me and #3 (I am trying things out IRL as well!).

  4. Actually, my blog is rather empty. I spend my time managing our church recovery page here:


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