A brief note on the Accountability chapter.

I think of accountability as making sure I am following the rules I have set myself. It might also include things like: whether I am cheating, or exploiting loopholes; whether targets are too hard/easy. So, like a coach or a trainer.

Rubin discusses four types of accountability:

  • self
  • public (e.g. I announce at work that I don’t drink)
  • group (e.g. Weight Watchers)
  • partner (e.g. a coach or a trainer)

Really I think self-accountability is not like the other three. (i) it is not an external source of accountability like the others are, so in a way it’s weaker and less reliable; (ii) even with the other three, self-accountability must still be there as a kind of bedrock — otherwise you will find a way to play the system.

An external source of accountability is obviously a Good Thing, as long as the type of source fits the type of person (Rubin has Four Basic Personality Types) and the type of project.

I am not going to announce at work that I don’t want to wear frilly knickers and bras any more. I am not going to tell my wife that I want to stop watching porn.

An accountability partner must be the “gold standard” but that would mean a professional service or some kind of reciprocal relationship (you check I’m doing my French homework; I check you’re doing the knowledge).

A group, an online forum could be ideal. I have looked in the past and not found anything. In a recent comment, Beth provided the phrase “bouncing your eyes”. I did a web search and that came up with a lot of promising links I hadn’t seen before.

A forum or group might be more trouble than it’s worth — and I think I do have quite strong self-accountability. OTOH it might give me a space to delve into the gruesome details, leaving this blog for my more general Christian exploring. (unless separating like that would be unhealthy?)(in any case, I’ll see what there is.)

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  1. I have made huge strides in seeking out godly same-sex friends to hold me accountable throughout the years. I began this practice in a small way by committing to pray and be prayed for by a good friend of mine about 25 years ago. That branched out into seeking direct accountability with another friend probably about 20 years ago. Since that time, I’ve always had someone who is praying with and for me, as well as holding me accountable. I hope that you pursue steps toward accountability, my friend. It is life-transformational and provides the “spurring on” that Hebrews 10:24 talks about. It is so encouraging and meaningful in my life.

    Thanks for the little “shout out” regarding “bouncing your eyes.” I hope it provides a lot of helpful resources moving forward. You are doing great! Keep on seeking and applying the truths of Scripture!

    (Btw, I don’t share your name here, because I want to protect your privacy. Is that how you would like it in this space?)

    • Dear Beth, Thank you very much for your comment. I am planning to start reading the letters again (after having spent a long time in the OT ^^).

      Thanks for the alert about the name. Please feel free to call me David here. I’ll see if I can update my wordpress username from unnameab73.


    • Dear Beth, I have updated my display name so new posts & comments should show me as David. Thanks again :) David


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