Two pivots. Pivot 2: up (I hope)

*** Jan 2016: London again

January 2016 I was down in London again, this time to meet an exciting potential new client.

(although the meeting went well, it doesn’t look like we will work together: they were ostensibly looking for a specialist contractor, but they were really looking for a new in-house generalist. We’ll see.)

After the meeting I was going to spend a couple of nights with my mother-in-law (who is 90: fairly healthy, but I generally stay over if I’m anywhere near).

I’d been in this slough of despond for two months. I wanted to pivot up again. I didn’t set myself any targets — other than performing well at the meeting, and having a nice time with my M-i-L — but I wanted this short stay away to swing me up again, into most of all a stronger more positive outlook.

I felt so done in I wanted to pamper myself. On the way down I was wearing knickers and I changed into a bra on the train. The first thing I did after checking in to my hotel was to go shopping: a new bra & panty set from Marks & Spencers, and three pairs of knickers from Boux Avenue. I even went out for dinner still wearing my bra under my shirt.

Perhaps that doesn’t sound too good, but I had an early night, and in terms of pampering it worked very well. I was confident and relaxed with the potential client, and visit with M-i-L also went well.

Staying with M-i-L for a few days was also a very good opportunity to ponder on my work generally, and to prepare for my upswing.

I was expecting to be trying out all my new knickers while I was there but as it turned out I was too tense waiting to hear from this company.

*** Now

That was a couple of weeks ago. How is the upswing going?

I think the pivot idea was a good one and the upswing is happening. Realising to myself that it is not all about me and my own bad habits was important. My wife, and our son, and the state of my business are all affecting me. This swing is not just “up” but also “out”: as well as them affecting me, I can affect them.

So I am going to write more about my Real Life here — including my work (no maths I promise). Apologies in advance for some dreary blog posts.

I will probably write more about dressing up too. Not just out of bravado or angst. It is part of me and it does comfort me (and I just enjoy it). When I leave this behind it will have to be done right and for the right reasons.

Other news:

  • Porn doesn’t seem to be a problem at the moment — in that I rarely look at it.
  • After returning from London I started reading “Wearing God” by Lauren F. Winner, and I’ve just finished it. It is a lovely book and it was just what I needed to read. I am sure it helped me pull myself together again. I’ll post a review shortly. After reading it I have started praying regularly again.
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4 Comments

  1. Pivot points…that’s a good way to describe our ups and downs. I appreciate your honesty in both. It sounds like you have many things legitimately vying for your attention. Praying for your work, your family relationships, your peace. And for your Psalms booklet to come together when the time is right.

    Reply
    • Dear Lisa

      Thank you for your kind comments — and for your prayers!

      I’ll be writing more about the Psalms shortly, and yes I still hope to put together a little booklet.

      David

      Reply
  1. Two pivots. Pivot 1: down | Luke 7:39
  2. “Wearing God” by Lauren F. Winner | Luke 7:39

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